While laughter may not be able to treat the coronavirus, it can certainly help lift our spirits. Our regular column (drawn from social media and the many email and mobile platform messages we are receiving) captures examples of the humour that is one of the global travel retail community’s endearing and enduring traits.
In it we bring you some of the (publishable) humorous memes and videos being sent to us by readers.
Send your contributions to Martin@TheMoodieDavittReport.com
Another one worthy of thought. #COVIDmemes @FoxNews pic.twitter.com/vN8zIdxV96
— Mountain Poet (@mtnpoet) May 4, 2020
We are bringing our country back (but to what?)
https://www.facebook.com/johnJPpatrick/videos/10219953706567426/
A-symptomatic President
There’s Wally!
Commuter lifestyle
(Not) Leaving on a jet plane
Brought to you as an exclusive reader service (with a little assistance from © 2020 Wash Your Lyrics) by The Moodie Davitt Report, here’s one for the entire travel retail community to remind us of what we’re missing out on while simultaneously enocuraging us to wash our hands thoroughly. Just sing along with each step of the hygiene procedure.
A year down the cheek(y little Nandos)
When the waiter brings the food during my first Nandos after lockdown. pic.twitter.com/yfjMnoJ3JY
— Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) May 22, 2020
Over… and out
Now I seriously hate being reminded of the outcome of a certain cricket match but the sheer brilliance of this COVID-19 makeover of the climactic extra-time over of the World Cup Cricket final last year between New Zealand and England warrants its inclusion here, writes Martin Moodie. To encourage those English cricket lovers among you to wash your hands properly, simply repeat the words below during each stage.
Only fools and arses
@Darren_Dutton lends some suitable end credits to a Boris Johson press conference
— Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton) May 21, 2020
Secretary of (a right old) State
From UK actor and voice artist Meggie Foster comes this priceless TikTok take on UK Secretary of State Priti Patel’s regular press conferences. Perhaps the only clip you will ever see to feature the entire Diageo portfolio.
I Feel Priti pic.twitter.com/I0hEZ7O6GS
— Meggie Foster (@meggiefoster) May 19, 2020
The Sunil Tuli Virtual Golf Academy Channel: Lesson 2
Regular readers of this column will recall that due to the constraints of being in lockdown in Singapore, King Power Group HK Chief Executive Sunil Tuli has launched the Sunil Tuli Virtual Golf Academy (STVGA for short, though it’s not very short).
Under an exclusive contract with The Moodie Davitt Report, Sunil has agreed to give regular online lessons in what he described as “the new normal” of golf tuition.
“The STVGA – pronounced ‘st-vi-gah’ – offers travel retail golfers hope when before there was none,” he told The Moodie Davitt Report from the COVID-19th hole at Tuli Links & Resort, a spectacular new par 3 course created just outside his front door. “It’s an absolute game changer – after watching me you will want to change to another game as I’m so good.”
Besides what he self-deprecatingly describes as his “legendary” expertise in the travel retail industry, Sunil is one of the finest golfers to have emerged from his tiny home village of Skuru in India’s Nubra Valley (population 230. 229 since Sunil moved to Singapore).
However, he gave up the professional game at an early age (7) to instead carve a high-profile career in the duty free industry (he is also President of the Asia Pacific Travel Retail Association).
In today’s lesson, Sunil teaches viewers how to put spin on the ball, one of the trickiest elements of the game but one made to look simple by the Indian master.
“When you think of spinning a golf ball and landing on the green, what do you picture in your mind?” he asks. “You most likely think about watching me on television, hitting a beautiful approach shot, landing on the green, just a few feet ahead of the pin, and then the ball magically rolling back into the hole, or very close to it.”
[Disclaimer: No children or animals were hurt in the making of this movie. Although Sunil was.]
Earlier on the Sunil Tuli Virtual Golf Academy Channel….
Lesson 1: Tuli, madly, deeply in the rough
As part of our continuing efforts to keep readers informed during the current crisis, The Moodie Davitt Report is proud to release the first in a series of golf instruction videos, exclusively filmed for us by King Power Group (HK) CEO Sunil Tuli.
In today’s lesson, Sunil takes readers through some key thoughts when addressing the ball. Sunil keeps it simple, offering some deeply insightful thoughts on how to ‘snap load’ the power package; and about how to reach maximum centripetal force with minimum pivotal resistance.
Sunil told The Moodie Davitt Report: “I’ve started the Sunil Tuli Virtual Golf Academy. It’s free of charge to all members of the industry for the benefit of mankind.”
In a key insight he reveals that golf is geometrically an oriented linear force. “You can divide the golf swing into 24 basic components,” Sunil explains, each having between 12 and 15 variations.
Parasite, the COVID-19 sequel
Virtual becomes reality TV
Alex Cook and his team at Singaporean integrated retail, marketing and design agency FILTR have done an incredible job at curating what will be a world-class experience at the inaugural Moodie Davitt Virtual Travel Retail Expo. It has been an amazing partnership that has brought together complementary skillsets driven by two entrepreneurs.
Has one shaped the career direction of the other? Judging by this episode of Rick Stein: The Road to Mexico from last night on UK television, it appears so, as Alex makes a surprise appearance as a cook (of course) and admits how much Martin Moodie (seen conducting the interview in place of Rick Stein) has influenced him.
But of course there has been another influence on Alex, his lovely wife Maria. And you just know where she’s from, right? Yep, you guessed it. Mexico!
Donald Trump x REM – Losing My Civilians
https://www.facebook.com/www.JOE.co.uk/videos/269693530857722/
Travel retail creativity encapsulated
15 brilliant and diverse entries flowed in to The Moodie Davitt Report’s Lockdown Challenge in association with Beam Suntory. As reported, our partners at the global drinks company kindly offered readers the chance to win three outstanding travel retail-exclusive bottles of Bowmore Islay Single Malt Whisky. Click here for the winners.
The Lockdown Challenges followed some superb responses by consumers worldwide to the original challenge laid down by the Getty Museum to recreate famous art scenes at home during the COVID-19 crisis, as seen further down this page.
Beam Suntory, a Platinum Partner of The Moodie Davitt Virtual Travel Retail Expo 2020, offered three global travel retail exclusive bottles of Bowmore Islay Single Malt Scotch (respectively 10 Year Old, 15 Year Old and 18 Year Old) to each of the category winners. The Lockdown Challenge was:
- As in the original challenge, recreate your favourite art using objects lying around your home (click here for some original art to inspire you)
- Or: Recreate your favourite sporting moment of all time, again using items in your home.
- Or: Recreate a moment in travel retail, aviation or tourism, same rules as above
Here are the 15 finalists.
Our final entry received draws its inspiration from an outstanding post-impressionist work by the genius Paul Cezanne. The reinterpretation comes from Caroline Cheung, Director of US fashion and accessories distributor Escale and one of the most knowledgeable and experienced voices in the global travel retail community. Her creation – “and my lunch”, says Caroline – is a beautiful re-enactment of Cezanne’s Still Life with Sugar Bowl, Jug and Plate of Fruit
This is pure class. It comes from Jess Howells, Founder of UK company Well-Noted, which specialises in business writing, project management & travel retail marketing (a great option for any companies out there who lack in-house resource during the crisis).
Well, Jess clearly also specialises in reimagining great art and we have a sneaky feeling the new version might become just as famous as the original.
Which is, of course, Madame Barbe de Rimsky Korsakov, a much-loved portrait of a Russian woman aristocrat painted in 1864 by German artist Franz Xaver Winterhalter. As you can see, Jess has brought a touch of Twoloo Rolls-Lautrec to her creation, marrying artistic emotion and contemporary society in what the world’s leading fine art critic Nitram Eidoom described as “a new kind of expressionism born out of desperation, panic buying and a recent visit to Tesco”.
Now this is clever. From Irishman Gerry Murray, another youthful industry veteran, and owner of Travellers’ Trove – a multi-faceted business offering consulting, distribution and brand agency representation services across all geographies and several product categories – comes this reworking of ‘Ceci n’est pas un pipe’ (This is not a pipe).
Also known as The Treachery of Images, Ceci n’est pas un pipe is a 1929 work by surrealist painter René Magritte. But it IS a pipe we hear you say. If it’s not a pipe then what is it?
Courtesy of Daily Art Magazine, here is the explanation: Magritte loved word games. He was also determined to prove that the painting and poetry were on an equal footing despite the Surrealists’ constant flaunting on the pre-eminence of the written word. Magritte caches the gap between the language and the meaning. His statement is taken to mean that the painting itself is not a pipe; it is merely an image of a pipe.
Magritte explained it: “It’s quite simple. Who would dare pretend that the REPRESENTATION of a pipe IS a pipe? Who could possibly smoke the pipe in my painting? No one. Therefore it IS NOT A PIPE.”
And so to Gerry’s brilliant reinterpretation. Using a picture of Lotte Duty Free in Myeong-dong Seoul, he superimposes the title ‘Ceci n’est pas un shopper’. In other words, what is portrayed is not a shopper but merely an image of a shopper. Something that many retailers may have to make do with for quite a while yet. An artistic twist on a travel retail industry dilemma. Superb.
From Colombo, Sri Lanka, we received this contribution from the ‘Father of inflight retail’, Rakhita Jaaywardena, CEO of King Power Traveler. Besides his commercial talents and extensive contribution to his country (his extensive public service includes spells as CEO of Sri Lankan Airlines and Chairman of Ceylon Electricity Board), Rakhita is a man of rare sporting talent. Especially cricket. Anyone who remembers the match that used to be played before the TFWA Asia Pacific show in Singapore will remember his all-round skills. Opening batsman; medium-pace swing bowling; adept in the field, Rakhita had it all. Heck, he could even sing.
Golf, though, it is fair to say, has stretched the Jayawardena capabilities – and patience. Rakhita is too much of a human dynamo to spend four to five hours meandering around a golf course trying to hit an egg-sized ball into a cup not much bigger hundreds of yards away. And yet, and yet… class will prevail. At the King Power Travel Retail Friendship Club Golf Open in Macau in 2017, Rakhita’s enormous latent talent burst through with this drive (pictured left) on the first tee.
Notice the eyes firmly on the ball (well they were until it disappeared), the classic hip and shoulder rotation, and the beginning of a long and full follow through. It’s a classic example of what King Power Group CEO Sunil Tuli described recently on this website in his Virtual Golf Academy of how to ‘snap load’ the power package and how to reach maximum centripetal force with minimum pivotal resistance.
Now, when we say the ball ‘disappeared’, that needs qualifying. It did. Straight into the thick jungle that lines the first tee at Macau Golf Club, around 27 metres to Rakhita’s right. But for every one of those 27 metres the ball’s trajectory, sliced as perfectly as fine Sri Lankan mango, was every bit as majestic as anything Tiger Woods has ever brought to the game. The memory has etched itself indelibly in Rakhita’s mindset ever since and the Lockdown Challenge saw him reprise the shot – though this time using a coconut from his extensive home gardens just outside Colombo to ensure he did not miss the ball.
But do you notice anything about the technique? Yes, you’re right. It bears all the hallmarks of a classic cover drive in Rakhita’s beloved cricket. Notice the way in the reprised shot his eyes are firmly over the ball, as he caresses it into the covers (his maid had forgotten to clear the washing line that morning). So much, in fact, does Rakhita draw on his cricket technique in golf that sometimes as he drives off the tee he calls for a quick single.
The Moodie Davitt Report thought we had discovered where this textbook technique emanates from. It turns out that Rakhita is not the only Sri Lankan cricketing great bearing the name Jayawardena or Jayawardene. Step forward one of Rakhita’s idols (and actually his cousin), Denagamage Praboth Mahela de Silva Jayawardene known simply (much to the relief of cricket commentators worldwide) as Mahela Jayawardene. Look at the beautiful technique below, the sublime balance, the perfect follow-through. But as we studied the image below, it was clear that Mahela had in fact based his technique on Rakhita’s golf swing.
Mahela is the only cricketer after Indian legend Sachin Tendulkar to have made 600 international appearances. Cricket website CricBuzz describes him as “a masterful technician oozing class” lauding his batting as “a thing of beauty and a joy to watch”. Just like Rakhita’s reprised drive in the great Lockdown Challenge.
From ‘Mr Danzka’ himself, that really great Dane of the human variety, Torben Vedel Andersen (Global Sales Director at German drinks group Waldemar Behn) comes this uncanny similarity to an iconic work of Danish art.
The Little Mermaid is a bronze statue by Edvard Eriksen that depicts a mermaid becoming human. The sculpture is displayed on a rock by the waterside at the Langelinie promenade in Copenhagen, Denmark. It is 1.25 metres tall and weighs 175 kilograms.
The Slightly Bigger (in height) Mermaid is a more temporary installation, a (starting to go) bronze (due to the nice Danish spring weather) still-life work created by Torben’s daughter Christina on the beautiful coast near Havnsø in Denmark earlier today. This contemporary Danish masterpiece, a travel retail exclusive, is 1.79 metres and weighs 90 kilograms (“close to perfect”, says Torben).
“The Little Mermaid is a truly world-famous piece of Copenhagen,” adds Torben. “The new Mermaid will for sure be an icon of similar fame… ” We agree.
And we have more entries from Rakhita Jaywardena, clearly enjoying his life in lockdown.
With the aid of a little photoshop it has to be said (unless there are identical Jayawardena triplets), Rakhita has ingeniously recreated a lovely scene from 15 years ago, when a group of well-known industry executives visited The Travel Retail Village, the culmination of what was then the greatest fund-raising project in travel retail history.
The village was funded by the industry in response to the devastating Boxing Day tsunami of 2004 that killed hundreds of thousands of people across South Asia. The project focused on rehousing the people of Palliyawatta, a sea-front village that was wiped out by the disaster. The Travel Retail Village was inaugurated on 12 January 2006, followed by a formal opening on 16 March that year. This picture was taken in 2012 during a visit to see how the community was faring.
“Moodie-san look at the details,” says Rakhita admiringly of his own entry. “The strap on Dan Cappell’s hand and the sunglasses; the black cap you have in your hand and the colour of your watch strap; the colour of the watch on Jonathan Holland’s hand together with the colours of all the clothing which is a recreation almost to the exact point.”
You’re right Rakhita, it is an outstanding recreation by the Jayawardena triplets. The judges have a tough job on their hands.
Why stop with two entries Rakhita, we asked? So he didn’t. Here are his reworkings of ‘The Trunk of an Elephant’ and Delhi’s famous Lotus Temple, a Baháʼí House of Worship that was dedicated in December 1986 and is notable for its flowerlike shape.
Our next fine contribution comes from travel retail industry veteran Alan Brennan, who heads dcGTR, an associated business unit of dcactiv, which works with retailers, brand owners, airport operators and trade associations to drive greater shopper purchasing behaviour – something we will really need in coming months.
Alan produced this very timely reworking of The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo, painted by the Italian master between 1508 and 1512 (that he did it in four minutes underlines his genius). The original fresco, of course, forms part of the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling and illustrates the Biblical creation narrative from the Book of Genesis in which God gives life to Adam, the first man – written about 2005 years BC (before Coronavirus). The Creation of Alan, which took much longer than four minutes, features the responsibly garbed fingers of Alan and his son Jordan.
From the Tuli household in Singapore, where various family members and dog Spike are currently tasked with keeping husband, father and grandfather Sunil Tuli (Group Chief Executive of King Power Hong Kong and President of APTRA) confined to lockdown so that Singaporean citizens are not infected by his legendarily bad puns, comes this gem.
Art-loving readers will recognise one of the images above (and probably shield their eyes from the other two, one of which, similar to that of Jess Howells’ creation above, evokes the early Lautrec – in this case clearly not Twoloos but his younger brother Oneloo-Lautrec). It is, of course The Thinker by Auguste Rodin (1840 – 1917). Now we know it’s not August yet but you have to admit that the May 2020 reinterpretation by Sunil (1940 – still alive) is almost uncanny in its resemblance. We said almost.
You also have to admire the creativity of Mr Camel Milk Chocolate Patrick Dorais of Al Nassma Chocolate who has clearly got the hump about being grounded for so long in Dubai.
Here’s Patrick’s commentary: A depiction of a Superhero on an early morning flyover of his Metropolis – always on the lookout for miscreants, trouble-makers and spreaders of fake news – ensuring the safety of all aviation, tourists and travel retail staff alike.
Creatively generated on a Lenovo Thinkpad Core i7, high-speed Etisalat internet and lots of Googling images. Best viewed in A4 landscape format, or maybe not at all. A noticeably slimmer, trimmer, fitter and healthier version of the Superhero recreated by Patrick Dorais. Shot on iPhone 8. No filter needed. Should place within the top 2.5 million entries. Inshallah.
A superb entry from Premiere Portfolio Co-Owner Kevin Walsh, who sent us this image of the Walsh household hound, the beautiful Fizz, listening to ‘his master’s voice’ 2020-style. What’s the song? Most likely Hound Dog by Elvis Presley. Fizz, in case you need any Pointers to the breed, is a Viszla, a variety from Hungary. Very Hungry actually – Kevin got her to pose so obediently by placing her treat under the speaker.
Below is an entry from travel retail and drinks industry veteran Peter Sant, who together with his sons successfully recreated one of the most famous sporting moments in English history (an illicit bit of photoshopping going on in there Peter but we will allow that given the lovely sense of nostalgia that harking back to England’s last footballing triumph over half a century ago evokes).
And below, we discover another example of English sporting nostalgia for days (long) gone by. This is Jonathan ‘Chaps’ Holland of Jonathan Holland & Associates in Singapore recreating the famous moment when another Jonathan (known to all as Jonny), called Wilkinson, dropped a goal in extra time to win the 2003 Rugby World Cup for England against the hosts Australia.
Jonathan, whom even the Queen cannot match for patriotism, says, “Please find my submission for your Greatest Sporting Moment – Jonny’s kick that sent England up to the Stairway of Rugby Heaven in 2003. I hope I win because I have to pay for the broken window!”
EXAMPLES OF ENTRIES TO THE ORIGINAL GETTY MUSEUM CHALLENGE
What a relief
The British Government, whose brilliant early advice on social distancing (“Don’t do it”) has rocketed the country to number two in COVID-19 deaths, is set to issue surprise new hygiene regulations. We offer you a sneak preview.
Meeting old friends
Mourning coffee
What a relief
WTF
The Moaning Lisa
She sits in a corner by the door
There must be more I can tell her
If she really wants me to help her
I’ll do what I can to show her the way
And maybe one day I will free her
Though I know no one can see her
Mona Lisa, sad Mona Lisa – Sad Mona Lisa by Cat Stevens (almost)
Well you can’t blame her after weeks of lockdown. Submitted by Peter Marshall (below) of industry film maker TRUmblocked, himself partial to a few bad hair days over the past 40 years.
Life imitates art…and then masters it
Probably some of the best examples of the lockdown art challenge that we have seen
Match of the Day
Another good one from Mr Danzka, Torben Vedel Anderson. Wife: “What are you doing?” Husband: “Watching football.”
Mr Danzka takes a dip
In Copenhagen, Torben Vedel Andersen, Global Sales Director at Waldemar Behn, reckons the Danish weather is warm enough to go swimming once the lockdown is over. As you can see, he’s got his swimming gear prepared.
Late night lockdown studies
Irishman and travel retail drinks veteran John Kilmartin sent us this classic.
Life imitates art
More superb responses to the challenge laid down by the Getty Museum, inspired by the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam and a genius Instagram account called Between Art and Quarantine. So why not take up our challenge (scroll down for details) and be in with the chance to win a superb travel retail-exclusive bottle of Bowmore Islay Single Malt Whisky?
If you can’t get to the art gallery, bring the art gallery to you
We love the brilliant challenge laid down below by the Getty Museum, inspired by the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam and a genius Instagram account called Between Art and Quarantine. And we love the responses even more. So… we are issuing our own Travel Retail Lockdown Challenge, with a twist.
Courtesy of our friends at Beam Suntory, a Platinum Partner of The Moodie Davitt Virtual Travel Retail Expo 2020, we are offering a bottle of Bowmore Islay Single Malt Scotch whisky global travel retail exclusives (respectively 10 Year Old, 15 Year Old and 18 Year Old) to each of the category winners.
- As in the original challenge, recreate your favourite art using objects lying around your home (click here for some original art to inspire you)
- Or: Recreate your favourite sporting moment of all time, again using items in your home.
- Or: Recreate a moment in travel retail, aviation or tourism, same rules as above.
Entries to Martin@MoodieDavittReport.com by noon UK time 6 May, headed Lockdown Challenge.
A must-stop visit to the Sydney Harbour Dishes
From Patrick Dorais at Al Nassma Chocolate in Dubai (we are worried about what all that isolation is doing to you Patrick) comes this gem from down under.
How to make your own Lairbrador during lockdown
A message from The Moodie Davitt Report Publisher (and Golden Labrador owner): Please do not try this at home
I’ll Grease your palm if you Grease mine
“We go together.” That’s been the popular refrain from US President Donald Trump and UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson in recent times (much to the concern of many British citizens). So let’s take a look at how @PoliticsJOE_UK caught the ‘special relationship’ in a brilliant referencing of the film and musical Grease.
Look at me, my beer is cold, and I’m happy
ASUTIL Secretary-General José Luis Donagaray sent us this marvellous and ultimately uplifting spoof of the Cat Stevens classic ‘Father and Son’, reimagined in a lockdown environment.
Why the President has ultimate power
Obama, Hillary Clinton and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned and what you believe in.”
God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?”
Obama thinks long and hard, looks God straight in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen.”
God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Obama, and offers him a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Clinton and says, “And what do you believe?”
Clinton ponders for a while and then says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American.”
God is greatly moved by Clinton’s eloquence, and he offers her a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Trump and says, “And you, Donald, what do you believe?”
Trump replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”
An ailing beer market
If you own a hugely popular beer called Corona, you’ve got to expect some dark humour during dark times. And so it has proven. Here are some of the best of the many Corona beer memes doing the rounds of social media.
How a spoonful of Clorox makes your temperature go down
The perfect cleanser before dinner
Inspired by US President Donald Trump’s suggestion that disinfectant might knock out COVID-19 “in a minute”, The Moodie Davitt Report has invented an innovative new cocktail called the Trump COVID-19tini but warns that it must NOT be consumed at home unless full Food and Drug Administration approval is granted in this US.
President Trump told a press conference this week: “And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that. So, that, you’re going to have to use medical doctors with. But it sounds… it sounds interesting to me.”
However, that statement led Reckitt Benckiser, the company that makes Lysol and Dettol, urge customers not to consume its cleaning products. “As a global leader in health and hygiene products, we must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route),” the company said.
We agree. And anyway, Dettol tastes horrible. So we decided to mix it with our last bottle of Trump vodka (long since discontinued because it tastes horrible too) and tonic water (Fever Tree, of course). Hey presto, the Trump COVID-19tini. Best served on the rocks. Like the President.
Didn’t mean to make you cry
(Queen sings) Mama, just wanted to kill a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead
How to make your travel plans during lockdown
Contributed by Patrick Dorais of Al Nassma Chocolate in Dubai
How lockdown can drive you barking mad
Developing a suitable response to COVID-19 by the book
Sent in by Peter Marshall of TRUnblocked
Tuli, madly, deeply in the rough
As part of our continuing efforts to keep readers informed during the current crisis, The Moodie Davitt Report is proud to release the first in a series of golf instruction videos, exclusively filmed for us by King Power Group (HK) CEO Sunil Tuli.
Besides his management responsibilities at King Power, and his new role as President of the Asia Pacific Travel Retail Association, Sunil is also one of the top golfers to have ever emerged from his native village of Skuru in India’s Nubra Valley (population 230. Well, 229 now that Sunil has moved to Singapore).
In today’s lesson, Sunil takes readers through some key thoughts when addressing the ball. Sunil keeps it simple, offering some deeply insightful thoughts on how to ‘snap load’ the power package; and about how to reach maximum centripetal force with minimum pivotal resistance.
Sunil told The Moodie Davitt Report: “I’ve started a Virtual Golf Academy. It’s free of charge to all members of the industry for the benefit of mankind.” We’ll bring you more instructional videos from the Sunil Tuli Virtual Golf Academy (STVGA) in coming days.
In a key insight he reveals that golf is geometrically an oriented linear force. “You can divide the golf swing into 24 basic components,” Sunil explains, each having between 12 and 15 variations.
Why self-isolation is proving difficult for a master
Herd immunity down under?
The official dress code guide for Zoom conferences
Break for freedom
Back on the travel treadmill
Is lockdown making you hanker for those days of business travel again? It certainly is for one of our German readers.
I want to break free – Queen
Excuse the grainy footage but she was moving fast.
The art of staying safe
You have to admire the creativity of the Ministry of Culture and Information Policy of Ukraine
Developing tunnel vision over wine
From Delhi Duty Free CEO Phil Eckles comes this gem. Phil, like everyone in India, is currently on lockdown. That has meant that his wine supply has run short. In fact it has now run out – Phil having saved his last bottle for the inaugural Wine O’Clock a couple of weeks back. But as the great meme reveals, where there’s a will there’s a way.
The weight goes on
Flour power
Who is that masked man?
Social distancing
Mixed Spice
From much-missed former Duty-Free News International Editor Bill Lumley comes this gem.
“I switched some of the labels on my wife’s spice jars. She hasn’t noticed yet, but the thyme is cumin.”
Easter Crackdown?
Flying on Lockdown Airways
Make sure you wear your mask
How OFC became the world’s busiest airport
Inspired by a reader e-mail about new ‘airport codes,’ reflecting the mass lockdown of people worldwide, The Moodie Davitt Report is pleased to release an exclusive study of global passenger traffic based on the new airport codes.
All the airports mentioned are currently serving domestic passengers only.
Headline act
New airport codes released
From travel retail veteran Clive Carpenter, now working with Sazerac in Cognac, France, comes this gem detailing the new ‘airport codes’ for our current travels.
LVG – Living room
DNR – Dining room
BTH – Bathroom
BKY – Back yard
PAT – Patio
MBR – Master bedroom
OFC – Office
WNC – Wine cellar
Source: JMariani@banfi.com
Having studied the list (and noticed the omission of a very busy domestic airport, KTN – Kitchen), The Moodie Davitt Report is pleased to release a new and exclusive study on global passenger volumes. We can reveal that currently the world’s busiest airport is OFC (which is recording all-time record traffic and has surpassed 2019 number one, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International), followed by LVG with occasional bursts at BTH (which also caters for emergency flights) and three particularly busy flight periods at DNR each day.
KTN, twinned with DNR, is experiencing steady passenger flow throughout each day. Late night to early morning flights through MBR are unchanged from much of the rest of the year, though there has been a reported sharp rise in on-airport ancillary activities due to the lockdown.
BKY and PAT have been experiencing big surges in weekend volumes, while traffic through WNC (which offers direct connections to/from DNR and PAT) has hit unexpected all-time highs.
All the airports mentioned are currently serving domestic passengers only.
Sunil brushes up on his golf
Home Mona Alone
UNESCO wrote yesterday. “The Mona Lisa is staying at home, and you? To fight #COVID19, there’s ONE thing we all can do: #StayAtHome.”
That quickly inspired several memes, including this gem, to which The Moodie Davitt Report added, “This underlines what a genius Da Vinci really was. He clearly knew how to prevent the spread of the coMonavirus.”
When flight attendants work from home
From a Toronto-based duty free retailer comes this YouTube skit produced by Canadian YouTuber, magician and entertainer Wes Barker and his wife Kristen. It shows just what might happen when we are confined too long to our own homes. Anyone in travel retail recognise the script? Or the condition?
“So would you like to purchase some duty free?”
“Are you literally trying to sell me my own alcohol?”
“So would you like to purchase some duty free?”
“I got that [bottle of Jameson] for my birthday!”
“So is that a no?”
“No!”
Looking forward to Great Friday
Travel Retail – The Great Escape
Isolation does funny things to people. Industry consultant and long-time liquor company representative John Kilmartin sent The Moodie Davitt Report co-owners Martin Moodie and Dermot Davitt the following note.
“Greetings from Stalag Luft 111. Planning for a Great Escape and wanted to propose you, Martin, for the role of Squadron Leader Roger Bartlett. I of course would have to be Flight Lt Robert Hendley (Handsome bastard); Barry Geoghegan (Just cos he’s blonde) Captain Virgil Hilts; Dermot as Flight Lt Colin Blythe (the forger); James Kfouri (Wonderful Pistachios & Almonds) as Flying Officer Louis Sedgwick – he’s the only Oz I can remember.
“I am desperately looking for a short-arsed paranoid jock for the role of Flying Officer Archibald Ives. Then we’ll make that bolt to freedom.”
Very good John. We’re pleased to say we’ve swung into production of Travel Retail – The Great Escape and have cast a number of your industry peers in leading roles. Auditions start now for the role of Flying Officer Archibald Ives.
L’Oréal Travel Retail Americas Managing Director Yannick Raynaud
“You guys are doing a spectacular job. Not only the accuracy, timing, and relevance of the information, but your tone, is always ‘just the right one’! Both ambitious and empathetic, high spirited and grounded, sombre when needed, and cheerful when really, really needed. Martin, you set the tone for our industry, and I am glad to know you and be part of this large family.
“What I like the most about this situation is the enormous solidarity, the heightened civism with most, the focus on essential, the creativity and all the mêmes and jokes.”
We too Yannick, so here’s a couple you may not have seen….
